The World Will Look Up And Shout "Save Us", and I'll Whisper, "No."

Watchmen
2009, dir. Zack Snyder. 2 hours 43 minutes.
starring Billy Crudup, Patrick Wilson, Malin Akerman, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Jackie Earle Haley, Matthew Goode.

A few years back, Time Magazine lsited the greatest english-language pieces of literature from the 20th century, and one lone graphic novel made the list, Watchmen, by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons. Ever since its 1986 release, a film version has been in the works, and after many false starts, it's finally here.

Watchmen takes place in an alternate 1985 where Nixon is still the US President and costumed superheroes actually exist, though none have any real superpowers, save for Dr. Manhattan (Crudup) who becomes a god-like being due to a nuclear accident. One the superheroes, The Comedian (Morgan) is murdered, and another, Rorshach (Haley) takes up the case to solve the murder, fearing his other brethren may be next. All this leads to a showdown in Antartica, where the heroes must save the world, possibly from itself.

That synopsis makes the story sound like that of any other superhero adventure, but its not. Watchmen is much more self-reflective, and as such, much darker too. The film is incredibly violent, contains nudity, and the heroes and villains are fairly indistinguishable. All of this made for a very interesting comic book, but unfortunately, the mistake Zack Snyder has made has been his own resolute faithfulness to the original book. The result is a nearly 3 hour movie with too many characters and too many subplots, and not enough time to give justice to them all, leaving the audience unable to care for almost any of it.

Jackie Earle Haley as Rorschach, however, is easily the best part of the film. His character narrates most of the film, and probably should have just narrated the whole thing. His character's arc is also the most complete, since his fate seems to be the logical fate of any archtypal superhero.

Watchmen is either too long or too short, it's difficult to say which, though we'll get our chance in June when the 3 1/2 hour director's cut Blu-Ray comes out.

Until then, 3 stars (4 stars for the visuals and Haley, 2 stars for the rest of the acting and the adaptation).

FUN? FACT: In a curious irony, one scene has Crudup's character lecturing Morgan's character about parental responsibility. If you get that, you get it, and if you don't, you don't need to.